When you feel pain
Deep pain from certain community structures or paradigms
That may work for others
But haven't quite for you
And you share it
And people say
“you're exaggerating
That cannot be true
It didn't happen to me
It's gotta be you that's the problem
OK yes maybe it's a problem but not at the scale you're reffering to”
And you feel hurt
Like you shared something vulnerable
But it wasn't honored
It wasn't respected
And you think
Ok I gotta be careful
More careful
With the things I share
Because my heart cannot afford to be pierced like that
And also you think
What if they didn't understand
What if it triggered fears for them of what change you might want and where will this go and what does that mean for them?
Maybe they cannot fathom an inner experience that differs so vastly from their own
When the outer experience seems the same
Maybe it really doesn't matter what happens for them
Because we cannot change others
But what if we can ask ourself:
Can I give myself the validation I need?
Can I make space for the huge gaping holes?
Can I say to myself
Your feelings are valid
They matter
They are precious to me
I want to hear more
You matter
You matter so so much
It doesn't matter what others could or can't hear
I hear
I see
I make space for the fullness of your inner experience.
Can I do that?
If I can it doesn't really matter what others do
They could understand
Or not
They can validate
Or not
They can make space for your inner experience
Or not
It doesn't matter
It matters that I can
I can say the things I need to hear
I can make room for all the pain for all the agony for all the tears
I can see them
Really see them
Fully in their entire experience
Because they really really matter to me
They really really do 🫂
They are deeply precious and sacred
And deserve to be held and seen and processed.
As they are.