Held through pain
One day my toddler son asked me for something . I don’t even recall what
But the answer was no
I’m sorry you cannot have that
I watched his face as I said that
That moment of disappointment
And I held it
Stayed with it
Instead of distracting
Offering something else
It was uncomfortable
Watching the disappointment on his face
That sweet little face looking a little sad
I wanted to make it right
Cheer him up
It’s hard to witness and remain with his difficult emotion
But I managed to stay with it
And then I reflected
How precious and tender that actually was
How beautiful it is to show up for someone this way
How it can even be healing for ourselves
We can be very uncomfortable
Holding
Staying with people’s difficult moments
We want to make it go away
We want to just make it better
Here here’s a lolly a snack a toy a paci
Here’s a solution
Here’s who can help you
Let’s make it alright
It is hard to sit with discomfort
Our own and others
But when we can it’s actually a beautiful tender experience
Of being with someone through the tenderness and vulnerability of the human experience
And sends such a powerful message
I can hold your pain
I can be with it
Life might throw you way bigger disappointments then what you wanted right now
And i can hold it and be present as we let it weave it’s way through our bodies
Instead of numbing or distracting ourself
Or quickly moving to solution mode
And maybe that’s how you’ll understand and experience that you can too
You can be a witness to your own pain
You can hold it gently
Through the discomfort
Through that tenderness
Through the raw pain
As you slowly make it to the other side
Feeling accomplished like you allowed the process to happen
To complete itself instead of interrupting
It’s like holding water that’s just a bit too hot
It doesn’t burn
But it’s at the zone where we’d rather open our fingers and get rid of it
When we can stick with it
The temperature slowly drops
And it becomes warm and comfortable and soothing
An exquisite moment to cherish